I used to find it laughable. The pretentious “from the desk of” prelap that used to dot the sales letters of old school copywriters or people of self-anointed authority. The writer’s equivalent of a red corvette. An overcompensatory, “look at me, I’m big sh*t” battlecry, that in perfect obedience to the law of parallelism, nearly […]
Word Count: 720 | Time to Read: 4 Minutes | When I was 21, I wrote a screenplay called “Bull and Chain”. Set in the south, it was about a 70 year old rodeo clown named Jib and his romantically-inept family. In his will, Jib offers up a million dollar inheritance to whichever one of […]
Word Count: 475 | Time Needed to Create Human Life: 5 micro seconds | Dear Son, 10 Things To Know Before You Come Into This World 1. Your parents already love the sh*t out of you. Sure, you may only be the size of an over-ripened avocado, but your pea-sized heart beats loud enough […]
Word Count: 1,100 | Time to Read: 10 Minutes | Time to Write: 30 Years Ever since I was young, I had this strange little fetish for counting things. The clouds in the sky. The freckles on my toes. The tiny fluorescent squares that dotted the wallpaper in my nana’s spare bedroom. It should come […]